As part of the fostering assessment, we carry out background checks on all potential foster parents. But the checks we are asked about the most are ex-partner checks.
We know this part of the process could feel uncomfortable, especially if things ended badly. But we’re here to listen, understand your circumstances, and support you throughout, not to catch you out.
Whether your relationships ended amicably or not, we know that most people would prefer to leave their exes in the past. So, in this guide, we explain why we sometimes need to speak to ex-partners, whether you can refuse these checks, and when we wouldn’t contact them at all.
Why foster care background checks matter
We don’t expect our foster parents to be perfect – everyone has a past, and that’s part of what makes you who you are. But we do need to make sure there’s nothing in your history that could affect the care you give to a child.
Background checks help us build a clear picture of your life so far, supporting the decision about whether fostering is the right fit for both you and your family. It’s also a legal requirement, and part of our responsibility, to make sure children live in safe homes with foster parents who not only meet their needs but also help them heal, thrive, and feel hopeful about the future.
Who needs a background check?
To properly safeguard children, background checks don’t just apply to you as a prospective foster parent.
Every member of your household aged 18 or over and those who’ll regularly spend time with children in your care will also need a DBS and Local Authority check. This will include people in your support network, such as friends or family members you nominate to become your back-up foster carers.
Although these checks don’t go into as much detail as yours, they’ll still provide us with insight into the people who’ll be part of the lives of the children you foster.
In some cases, we’ll also check an ex-partner’s background; for example, if you share children and they’ll be visiting your home regularly.
Why are ex-partners sometimes contacted?
Your fostering assessment and background checks are all about getting to know you better and painting a real-world picture of who you are. If you’ve been in a significant relationship, where you’ve been married, had children, or lived together, your ex-partner will likely know you well, especially in the context of family life.
In these cases, we may speak with your ex to understand the dynamic of your past relationship and to see if they have any concerns about your suitability to foster. If you share children, we’ll also ask them about your role as a parent and how they feel fostering might affect your own children.
Common questions about ex-partner background checks
Do you check an ex-partner’s criminal record?
If your ex-partner will be regularly visiting your home, for example, because you’re co-parenting, we’ll complete a DBS check. This will show us details about any information held on police records, such as criminal convictions and cautions.
What if you can’t get in touch with my ex-partner?
If we can’t get in touch with a significant ex-partner, your assessing social will look for someone else to provide a reference, such as someone who knew you both during your relationship.
What if my ex refuses to provide a reference?
If they don’t want to provide a reference, we’ll find another suitable person, like a mutual friend or someone familiar with your relationship at the time.
Can I see what my ex-partner said about me?
We don’t usually share references with fostering applicants. But, if your assessing social worker believes something mentioned in a reference needs discussing, they’ll talk you through it, offering their advice, guidance, and understanding.
How long does a background check take for foster care?
Background checks form part of your fostering assessment, which we aim to complete within four to six months.
We’re here to help
At Orange Grove, we always handle background checks with confidentiality and care, supporting you every step of the way. We’re not looking for foster parents with a perfect past; our job is to find people who can offer children a safe, stable, and nurturing home. Together, we can help children who’ve had a difficult start to life have a second chance at a happy childhood and a brighter future.
If you’d like more information about the process of becoming a foster parent and the background checks involved, call us on 0800 369 8523, or submit an online enquiry form, and we’ll give you a call.
