As a foster parent, regardless of whether you’ve been fostering one month or five years, at some point on your journey, you may feel overwhelmed. From taking on too much and holding yourself to unrealistic standards to unexpected life events and crises that turn your day-to-day life into chaos, overwhelm can happen for various reasons.
The real question is, what do you do when you feel overwhelmed? In this article, we explore why overwhelm happens, symptoms you may experience, and tips to help you manage when your plate feels too full.
Why overwhelm happens in fostering
Overwhelm and mental health
Overwhelm can have a profound impact on your mental health, triggering conditions like anxiety and depression and leading to fatigue, irritability, or feeling trapped. There are also physical symptoms of feeling overwhelmed, such as headaches, nausea, sleep disturbances and changes in eating habits.
The good news is that feeling overwhelmed isn’t something you have to put up with; there are steps you can take to lighten your load and help you begin feeling like yourself again.
One of the best things about fostering is that it isn’t your typical nine-to-five job. No two days are ever the same – your role is constantly evolving, and you make a difference in the lives of children in your care every single day.
That being said, fostering is a 24/7 role, which means you can’t just clock out and switch off from your responsibilities at 5 pm. Between attending meetings and appointments, school runs, managing household tasks, and finding time for yourself, you can quickly begin to feel stretched without careful planning.
There may also be times when you feel like everything is under control, until something unexpected happens, such as a family member falling ill, and suddenly everything feels too much.
Overwhelm and mental health
Overwhelm can have a profound impact on your mental health, triggering conditions like anxiety and depression and leading to fatigue, irritability, or feeling trapped. There are also physical symptoms of feeling overwhelmed, such as headaches, nausea, sleep disturbances and changes in eating habits.
The good news is that feeling overwhelmed isn’t something you have to put up with; there are steps you can take to lighten your load and help you begin feeling like yourself again.
Tips on what to do if you feel overwhelmed
When things are running smoothly, feeling overwhelmed can seem like something that only happens to other people. But the truth is, it can happen to anyone at any time. That’s why it’s so important to have a few strategies you can turn to when things start to feel too much. Here are our top tips for coping when life feels overwhelming.
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Write everything down
When you’re stretched beyond capacity, one of the best things you can do to help yourself is to write down everything that’s on your mind. It doesn’t need to be in any particular order or even make any sense, but brain dumping everything onto a piece of paper can help lift the weight from your mind.
Once it’s written down, you can start prioritising, organising and regaining a sense of control. For example, you could split tasks into categories like ‘To Do Now,’ ‘To Do Tomorrow,’ and ‘Can Wait Until Later’ so you can tackle things one step at a time, rather than trying to think about everything all at once.
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Take a step back
When everything feels too much, feelings of failure can begin to creep in, especially if you’re overwhelmed by a situation you’re facing with the child in your care. In moments like these, it’s vital to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Yes, you might be finding a particular behaviour or scenario tricky, but when you take time to reflect, you’ll see how far you and the child in your care have actually come.
It’s also important to remind yourself that you’re not alone; everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. It isn’t a sign of failure – if anything, it’s a sign that you’re giving so much of yourself that you’ve forgotten you matter too
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Don’t ignore your mental health
When things feel hard, caring for your mental health becomes even more important. Whether it’s taking a walk in the park, watching rubbish TV, or eating your favourite food, do whatever helps bring you a bit of peace, even if just for half an hour.
During difficult times, it’s also crucial to be mindful about what you’re viewing online. If you enjoy scrolling through social media or checking up on the news, when you’re already feeling overwhelmed, absorbing the chaos of the world can actually make things worse. Instead, opt for some light-hearted reels or find other activities that soothe your mind. We have a few ideas in our ultimate self-care guide.
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Set realistic expectations
Goals are good, they drive us forward, keep us focused, and give us purpose – but only if they’re realistic. Unrealistic goals can leave you feeling overwhelmed and defeated, especially if they feel impossible to reach.
Remember, the main goal of a foster parent is to provide a safe, stable and nurturing home that helps children and young people achieve the best possible outcomes. But when you foster a child living with trauma, healing and progress take time.
Set small goals and celebrate when you reach them. For example, they could be as simple as encouraging the child in your care to brush their teeth, do their homework on time, or eat a banana. These little achievements are likely more significant than you realise, and can remind you that you are having a positive impact when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
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You’re not a robot
Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you’re only human, you’re not a robot, and your capacity for mental stress is not unlimited. There may be times on your fostering journey where you need to take a break, and that’s exactly why we offer respite foster care.
Caring for a child living with trauma can be challenging, and asking to take a break is a lot better than throwing in the towel because you’re feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes all you need is a little time to yourself to be with your own thoughts and do your own thing, so you feel rested and ready to take on the next challenge.
Respite isn’t selfish; taking care of yourself ensures you’re in the right frame of mind to continue providing the best possible care.
Remember: You’re never alone
When you foster with Orange Grove, you’re never alone on your fostering journey. We’re here to help you every step of the way by providing support for your whole family, which includes:
- Dedicated social worker: Whether you need advice or just a listening ear, your supervising social worker is available whenever you need them.
- Family support worker: Our family support workers ensure everyone in the foster home feels valued, heard, and included.
- Education experts: Feeling overwhelmed by your foster child’s education? Our education experts are on hand to provide guidance to help you support them in getting the most out of their education.
- Therapist: Sometimes you need a safe space to offload, and that’s why we give all our foster parents access to a therapist whenever needed.
- 24/7 helpline: Your role isn’t nine till five, and neither is our support. Our helpline is available for you 24/7.
- Support groups: Our regular local support groups help you meet other foster parents, share experiences, and build a wider network of support.
- Paid respite: If you do need a break, we offer up to two weeks of paid respite care.
Start your fostering journey today
Ready to switch to a more meaningful vocation? Start your fostering journey today by calling us on 0800 369 8513 or by completing our online enquiry form.
You can also join us at one of our weekly virtual information sessions where you’ll learn everything there is to know about fostering, including fostering allowances, types of fostering, how the application process works and more.
