Foster parents— who’s caring for you?
Our foster parents come from all different backgrounds, but they all share one thing in common— an attitude which prioritises caring for others. While this is an essential and admirable quality, it’s also important that every foster parent feels able to take time out of their busy schedule to focus on caring for their physical, mental and emotional health needs.
Self-care comes in many forms, and we all have different things which help us to feel our best. For some people it’s a brisk 6AM walk with the dogs, for others it's an evening of relaxation with a good book in the bath. Whatever appeals to you, there are small steps we can all take to improve our overall wellbeing while fostering. Let’s explore some simple elements you can add into your day-to-day life so that you can be your very best self for the children you care for.
Caring for your physical health
- Get outside in nature. Not only does sunlight boost our mood and vitamin D levels, spending time in the great outdoors is a fantastic way of getting our bodies moving. Getting outside with the family provides some great bonding time with your foster children, whether you choose a trip to the park or family bike ride.
If what you’re needing is some alone time, why not choose a solo walk or some time in the garden to decompress while tending to your plants and listening to a podcast. Whichever way you enjoy being in nature, spending time immersed in the natural world can remind us to breathe and enjoy the little things.
- Joining a workout class. Exercise— whether we love it or we hate it, it’s something we all need to be at our healthiest. One of the most enjoyable ways to get active is by finding a workout class in your local area. There really is something for everyone, whether its kickboxing, aqua aerobics, martial arts, joining a mental health walking club or a novelty dance class like Clubbercise.
Workout classes can be beneficial for our overall health as they’re also a fantastic way of making friends and building bonds in your local community. If you can’t get out and about or don’t feel comfortable working out in front of a big group, jogging with a friend or trying out some live online classes can be a good alternative.
- Try out batch cooking. Cooking your meals in bulk saves time and money, and is a great way of doing something right now to take care of your future self. Batch cooking your meals in advance not only makes mealtimes less stressful, it eliminates decision fatigue and makes it much easier to have healthy meal options on hand.
Why not try batch cooking your meals together as a family? Not only is this a great time to bond with your kids, it’s also an efficient way of teaching them vital life skills which will help to prepare them for independent adult life.
- Develop good sleep habits. Bedtime routines aren’t just beneficial for your kids— they can be a huge help for us adults, too! Following some simple sleep tips can make all the difference to how ready you feel to face each day. Putting your phone away before getting into bed, purchasing a sunrise alarm clock and heading to bed an hour earlier, can all be beneficial to your overall health.
Make time for daily stretching. While you may not always be able to find the time, energy or motivation to work out every day, stretching is a quick and simple healthy habit to squeeze into your daily routine. Even something as simple as five minutes of stretching in the morning or before you go to bed can help you to feel more comfortable in your body and prepare you to run around after your little ones all day.
There are plenty of great low-impact workouts which incorporate stretching, including pilates, yoga and tai chi. Another great benefit of these exercise methods is that they can all be done at home with minimal or no equipment.
Top Tips for caring for your emotional health
Often times one of the biggest barriers to taking care of our physical needs is finding the mental energy to put towards ensuring that we’re getting good sleep, nutrition, and plenty of exercise. These restorative mental health self-care tips can help.
- Take part in mindful activities. ‘Mindfulness’ can seem a little off putting to some people, but it’s has scientifically proven benefits and can help you in reconnecting your mind and body. Breathing exercises, meditation, journalling and colouring are all ways of helping to clear our mind and reconnect with our inner life. There are plenty of more unusual techniques which many people find beneficial, such as mindful eating, where you take the time to really savour your food.
- Protect your time and know your limits. Effective time planning is a necessary skill as a foster parent. When you’re caring for children, it can feel as though there are always a thousand jobs to be done. That’s why it’s important to prioritise what really matters and cut out the fluff. Don’t say yes to commitments or plans you feel obligated to attend— instead, focus on saying yes to invites and activities which really mean something to you and your family.
Spend more time in the environments and company of people who fill you up, rather than those that drain your energy. Being more cautious of where you spend your time and energy will give you more time to spend with each other as a family, and more time for necessary rest and relaxation.
- Indulge in your hobbies. While doing something just for ‘fun’ in our current work-obsessed culture can be viewed by some as wasting time, making time for hobbies is actually very important for our overall wellbeing. Hobbies can give us a sense of enjoyment and achievement and allow us to indulge our natural creativity while helping us to meet others who share our love for something weird and wonderful. Be sure to make some time to enjoy your passions unabashedly.
- Acknowledge the work that you do. Fostering is so much more than a job— it’s a lifestyle which prioritises caring for others above all else. The work you do is incredible, and you should be sure to recognise just how much of an impact you are making through fostering, not just on the individual children who you love and care for, but also on society as a whole. Taking time to truly recognise the difference you’re making every day and reflecting on how far you’ve come with your foster family can make even the most challenging days a little easier.
- Connect with your fostering community. Fostering is a community effort— while you will be responsible for the day-to-day care of your foster children, you have the backing of an enormous community of professionals and friends. We also offer regular support groups for our foster parents, and you can get the whole family involved by bringing your children along to our regular fun days and events.
What is the difference between Self Care and Survival Care?
Forget the candles, bath bombs and essential oils; while the above self-care is restorative, survival care is what gets us through our most challenging days. While these in-the-moment methods are not always pretty, they can be a lifeline when you just need a second to breathe. Survival care techniques can include:
- Using stress-relieving exercises. Some people find relief through breathing exercises, EFT tapping, butterfly hugs or somatic shaking.
- Taking a few extra moments for yourself, whether that’s enjoying a few extra minutes under the hot stream of the shower or eating your lunch alone while at work just to get a little alone time in your day.
- Reaching out to a loved one, whether that’s asking your partner to step in and take over for five minutes so you can step away from a situation or calling up a friend for some emotional support.
Mental health for foster parents: when to seek support
Everyone faces the occasional more challenging days, but if you’re persistently struggling with your mental health, it may be time to reach out for help. While it can feel very isolating when you’re struggling, there are many people out there who can relate to your experiences, and there are so many people out there who are ready to help:
- Your GP. Never hesitate to contact your doctor for support if you are struggling with your mental health.
- Therapeutic support. Our staff at Orange Grove are therapeutically trained and always on hand to offer support and advice. We can also match you with one of our therapists for in depth and tailored support.
- The Hub of Hope. This national directory is a fantastic resource which pools together mental health services in your local area, allowing you to refine your search by what you’re struggling with, the kind of support you’d like to receive and when you’d like to access it. You can also download the Hub of Hope app to your devices.
- Your FosterTalk membership. As an Orange Grove foster parent you’ll have free access to FosterTalk, a fantastic platform which offers a range of services for foster parents including free counselling, online events and a fostering helpline.
- Our training. We offer courses for our foster parents on a whole host of topics including emotional regulation, coping with transitioning through the menopause and practicing mindfulness. Our course ‘Who’s Caring for You?’ is specifically designed to equip you with a range of self-care skills, and is a great place to start.
Remember, you’re never alone when you foster with us
Here at Orange Grove, we’re proud to support our foster families in every avenue of their lives. Whether that means therapeutic support, access to local support groups or financial support through our fostering allowance, we’ll give you all the tools you need to live a healthy, rewarding life with the children in your care.
Are you ready to join our wonderful foster parents as they make a difference to the lives of children up and down the country? If so, download our guide to fostering for beginners, or get in touch with our team to learn how fostering could change your life.