While change is a natural part of life, it can still be difficult to experience firsthand, especially when the changes are big, such as divorce, moving house, a foster child leaving care, a pet dying, or losing a loved one. For a foster child, this can be an extra traumatic time, and may even trigger difficult feelings depending on the circumstances.
earning to navigate this change is an essential life skill, and you’ll need your support network more than ever. Whether that’s family and friends, your agency, or other foster parents, they’ll provide you with the emotional support you need through those periods of change.
Join us as we explore why having people in your corner can make all the difference to your fostering journey.
Why support networks are important for foster families
Throughout your journey as a foster parent, the comfort, reassurance, and help that you receive from your support network will be the best tool in your fostering arsenal. Fostering support is especially important during times of change, and this can, of course, take many different forms. Your support network could include:
- Family, such as parents, siblings, or other relatives.
- Close friends who are able to help out in a pinch.
- Other foster parents that you’ve met throughout your fostering journey.
- Your dedicated supervising social worker.
- Your fostering agency, who can give you any additional help, training, or support that you need.
These are the people who will be there for you when you need them most. We all need to lean on someone and ask for advice at some point in our lives, particularly when periods of change happen.
Your support network serves a number of functions, mostly to reassure you that you’re doing a good job, give you any emotional support or practical advice when you need it, and offer any professional guidance as needed. You may find that you rely on different people for different things.
1. Emotional support
As much as it can be rewarding, fostering can also be a difficult job at times, and you need to make sure you’ve got someone who can give you the emotional support you need.
Whether that’s chatting to your supervising social worker over a cup of tea or having a heart-to-heart with a loved one, this is a key aspect that your support network should be able to help you with.
2. Connecting with other foster parents
One of the things we’re most proud of as a fostering agency is offering our foster parents the chance to meet with other like-minded individuals through our support groups.
These are for foster parents of all levels of experience, and will be an invaluable addition to your support network. Fostering can sometimes feel like an isolating experience, but by connecting with other foster parents, it’ll be easier to remember that you’re not alone.
3. Practical advice
Talking to other experienced foster parents is an excellent way to get practical advice when you need it most. Other foster parents in your local area can give you guidance, encouragement, and offer understanding when you’re supporting foster children through change.
If there are any specific behaviours that they’ve dealt with before, this could be an invaluable source of support. Your supervising social worker will also be able to give you practical advice if there’s anything you’re unsure about.
4. Professional support
We know that it’s the professional support that you get throughout your fostering journey that can really make a difference in how you’re able to help vulnerable children.
That’s why you’ll always have a dedicated supervising social worker with a reasonable case load, so that they’re available to give you the support you need. You’ll also have access to our 24/7 phone line, therapists, and other educational professionals when you foster with Orange Grove.
5, Helping out in a pinch
Sometimes in an emergency, you’ll need an extra helping hand, and this is where your support network can step in to help you.
That could be taking your foster child to any appointments they might have, picking them up from school, or making sure they’re looked after so that their needs are consistently met while you handle the situation.
Having a reliable support network in place can ensure that there’s always someone there to look out for the foster children in your care, even when life throws you a curveball.
Understanding how change can be difficult for foster children
As we’ve briefly discussed above, change can be distressing for all of us, especially if it’s a big life change. However, it can be especially difficult for foster children to come to terms with.
This is because they’ve already experienced some form of trauma in their young lives. Typically, this trauma can make them feel unsettled and anxious about the world around them. Stability is essential for helping foster children to overcome trauma, and routine plays a big role in this. If something dramatically happens to alter that routine, it can make them feel unsettled all over again.
It’s worth noting that change can be particularly upsetting for neurodivergent children. They can find this unpredictability hard to manage, which can reflect in the behaviours they display. The sudden loss of stability can be hard for neurodivergent individuals to understand or know how to cope with, and they will need compassion and patience through this difficult time.
Helping a foster child to manage strong emotions
- Stay as calm as possible when they display big emotions. Your relaxed mood can help them to regulate their own feelings.
- Be as empathetic as you can and listen to any concerns they may have about these changes and how it will affect them.
- Try and stick to their routines as much as possible.
- Keep your body language and tone soft and open.
- Offer them reassurance that even though this change is different and scary, things will get better.
- Validate their emotions and reassure them that their feelings are logical.
Self-care for foster parents
It’s understandable that you’d be worried about how your foster child or children are going to cope with any big life changes that come their way. However, before you can effectively help them to deal with change or feeling unsettled, you’ve got to take care of your own mental health, too.
Managing change can be difficult for you as a foster parent, as well as for your foster child. If it’s the loss of a loved one or a beloved family pet, or other big changes, such as moving house, divorce, or a foster child leaving care, then this will understandably take a toll on your own emotions and well-being.
Self-care isn’t selfish. If you’re not feeling at your best, then you’re not going to be able to do as good a job as you normally can in helping your young person manage this change themselves. It’s important that you take time to practice self-care for yourself so that you’re able to help them navigate this change.
Tips for self-care
- Take time out of your day to unwind. Pick up a favourite hobby, make yourself a cup of tea, or sit down with a good book. Taking half an hour for yourself can help you to switch off and feel more refreshed and able to deal with your day-to-day life.
- Explore respite foster care so that you can have a short break and recharge those mental batteries. This can be for a weekend or for a couple of weeks, depending on what suits you and your foster child. Wherever possible, Orange Grove will make sure that foster children stay with the same respite families so that they have more stability.
- Rely on your support network as needed. This could be close family and friends, or it could be the foster care support that we offer here at Orange Grove.
- Make sure that you know your limits and when you need a break. Setting boundaries can help you to give yourself time to recharge.
- Practice compassion towards yourself and be kind. You’re not failing if you need to take time out to look after yourself – you’re doing it so that you can do an even better job in taking care of your young person.
- Take care of your physical health. Exercising releases chemicals in your brain, which can make you feel better and more confident to tackle the day. Make sure that you’re eating a healthy, well-balanced diet, too.
Are you ready to start your fostering journey?
Fostering is such a rewarding vocation. By opening your heart and home to children in need, you’re offering them a new start and will make a very real difference to their lives.
Are you wondering what foster care allowances Orange Grove pay our hardworking foster parents? Or do you want to know more about fostering and what this could look like for your family? Simply fill out an enquiry form on our website, or give one of our friendly advisors a ring on 0800 369 8513 to find out more.
Many of our fostering parents say they wish they’d started fostering earlier. Get in touch with our friendly team today to find out how you could transform the lives of children in need.
