Over the past four years, same-sex couple Aimee and Kirsty have opened their hearts and home to children from a variety of backgrounds, creating a safe, loving, and culturally respectful environment.
Their journey is inspiring, showing that love and acceptance are what truly make a family.
Starting their fostering journey
For Aimee and Kirsty, the idea of fostering had been in their minds throughout most of their lives. Aimee had always been aware of children in foster care from a young age. “I thought, if there was one thing I wanted to do with my life, it would be to help children who need a stable home” she says.
Kirsty felt the same. “We’ve always wanted to help people,” she says. “We both talked about fostering for years, and eventually, we just bit the bullet and started the process. It felt like the right thing to do. So we decided to foster with Orange Grove because a friend recommended them and, when I read up on Orange Grove, I felt like their values and ethos were aligned with us.”
“What makes Orange Grove special is the support. They’re there for you as well as the children. And it’s never too much effort for them. They’re always there to support us, help us make our journey easier, and make the kids life as easy as it can be for them.”
More than four years into their fostering journey with Orange Grove, Aimee and Kirsty have opened up their home to children from a range of different backgrounds – and they wouldn’t change a thing.
Fostering as a same-sex couple
When the couple began their journey into fostering, they admitted to having one concern: how their relationship might be received by others.
“When we first started, we were a bit worried about being a same-sex couple,” Aimee explains. “We wondered how it would be received by the children, the young people and the young people’s family also. Because you don’t just have the relationship with the young person, you have to establish a relationship with the young person’s family as well.”
But their experience turned out to be overwhelmingly positive: “Our experience of fostering as a same-sex couple has been all positive,” says Kirsty. “It was quite nice to see that it wasn’t an issue, and it hasn’t affected us at all. The children see a loving, healthy relationship, regardless of if you’re a same sex couple, man and a woman, man and a man, and that’s what really matters.”
Their advice to other LGBTQ+ couples considering fostering is simple:
“Don’t let it hold you back,” says Aimee. “It shouldn’t be a barrier. As long as you can give the love that those kids need and give them a stable, a loving home then it really doesn’t matter.”
Celebrating cultural differences
Aimee and Kirsty have cared for children from a range of different backgrounds and cultures, including two boys from Guinea, West Africa, who were Muslim, and it’s been an experience full of both learning and joy.
Aimee shared “I think I had a little bit of a worry going into fostering a child from a different religion just because it’s a different culture. But, the boys were absolutely beautiful and just brought so much life and so much energy to us. It was a privilege to have them.”
Fostering children from a different culture or background to your own can be such a rewarding part of fostering. These experiences taught the couple about the richness of different cultures and how meaningful small gestures can be in helping children feel accepted and valued.
The couple spoke about some of the specific ways in which they strived to meet the children’s cultural needs: “We sourced where our nearest halal butchers was, and sourced a really lovely barbers that specialised in their type of hair. And for their skin, what cream to use, what shampoo to use… And we reached out to other foster carers for advice as well.”
“And we celebrate Christmas, so we asked the parents if it is okay for them to celebrate with us. And we celebrate Eid as well – we did a big party for them, and we gave them gifts like they would have in their own family. We just integrate them into our family, and we try to bring their religion into our family as well. And I think it helps us to learn things about ourselves as well – the same way every young person that we’ve cared for has taught us something about ourselves.”
The difference fostering makes
Looking back on their four years as foster parents, both Aimee and Kirsty feel that fostering has changed them just as much as it’s changed the lives of the children they’ve cared for.
Kirsty reflected on their journey “As a foster carer, it can be tough. But then moments where they’ve done something, learned a new skill, and smashed it out the park – it’s all worthwhile for me. It’s just beautiful that you can give that to a child. Education wise, sports wise, any sort of needs they’ve got, we fight for them children, just like we would for our own. We try to give them as much experience as possible and show them that they’re worthy.”
Aimee added: “For us, when you see a child warm to you, start opening up and showing their personality, you know you’re making a difference. Every single one of the children brought so much happiness to our lives.”
“When the children are grown up and remember their time with us, I would like them to think that it was a house full of love and happiness. That’s what I would hope. And just knowing that someone thought they were worth fighting for, and helped them feel like they’re worth something.”
Advice for prospective foster parents
Aimee said: “For someone who’s thinking about fostering, I would say go into it with no expectations. Go with the flow.”
“Each child is very different” Kirsty added. “Sometimes when children arrive, it is quite a big shock. I’d say just absorb the shock. Because we’ve had a few children where that was a massive shock – and, God, we absorbed it – and they become such beautiful children. They can flourish into something so special. A stable house, love and care make such a difference.”
The couple would recommend fostering to anyone: “People should consider fostering a child because it is very rewarding. And you are making such a huge difference. Not only is it a rewarding job, it’s very humbling. You’re giving a child the life that they deserve, and showing them that they’re worth a life like that.”
Are you inspired by Aimee and Kirsty’s fostering story? To learn more about becoming a foster parent, call our enquiries team on 0800 369 8513, or fill in our online enquiry form, and we’ll send you all the information you need.
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