Alex and Laura Pryor have just completed their first year as foster parents with Orange Grove. Inspired by Alex’s nan who was a foster parent, the Pryors first discussed fostering 10 years ago, but as is so often the case, life got in the way.
Alex lived with a heart condition for a long time and eventually needed a transplant. Then Covid struck. In 2024, Alex had recovered and the pandemic had passed, and the Pryors could finally get back to their fostering dream.
12 months later, the Pryors have been loving their fostering journey so far and have learned some big lessons on the way.
Preparing children for adoption
The Pryors’ first foster child arrived in June last year, a small baby who had experienced neglect and had some developmental delays. Today, that same baby girl is flourishing and has even surpassed some developmental milestones and is getting ready to live with her adoptive parents.
Caring for younger children was always Alex and Laura’s fostering vision, and preparing a foster child to move on to adoption became part of their journey later on. As the adoption process began, the family navigated the bittersweet reality of having to say goodbye.
“People always say they couldn’t give a child back and that’s why they could never foster, but we’ve always known that she wasn’t ours to keep. We’re her stepping stone, her launchpad. We saved her from the life she was living and gave her a chance to thrive. The pride we feel watching her laugh, walk, explore… She’s not the same child who arrived in our arms, she has flourished beyond recognition and that’s the power of foster care.”
Providing life-long memories
Throughout their time together, the Pryors have provided a fun and enriching family life for their foster baby, taking her to the beach, the zoo, and all around the UK. They joke that she’s ‘exceptionally well-travelled for someone under the age of 2!’ On their travels they collected keepsakes, adding to their foster child’s memory box – something all foster children have to help them remember their life’s journey in foster care.
Circumstances may change post-adoption, and the Pryors don’t know whether or not they will stay in touch but they feel incredibly proud of the foundation they have provided for their foster child and know they’ve given her what she needs to go on to enjoy the rest of her life with her adoptive parents. Laura said:
“Of course we’d love to know how she’s doing and stay in touch, but that’s up to her adoptive parents and we totally respect that. We just want what’s best for her. She’s funny, confident and she knows she’s loved and that’s the best we could have hoped for.”
“It’s not about us”- considering everyone involved
Considering birth children
Alex and Laura thought long and hard about fostering before taking the plunge, making sure they got it right for their own family and any future foster children. The couple has three children; two of them are at uni, and Caitlin, who’s 17, still lives at home.
Caitlin was initially anxious about how fostering would impact her life, but Registered Manager Leisa from Orange Grove spent some time talking with her, explaining how it would really impact her. Over the course of 12 months, Caitlin’s relationship with her foster sister – and fostering in general – has gone from strength to strength. Laura said:
“Caitlin has been the backbone really – teaching our foster daughter to roll, sit up, and even to talk. She’s the one the baby laughs at the most. Fostering hasn’t only changed Caitlin’s outlook, it’s shaped her aspirations. Now she’s thinking about university and wants to study children’s nursing; this experience has played a huge part in that.”
Putting foster children’s needs before your own
Alex and Laura are flexible when it comes to fostering, and are open to welcoming children regardless of their needs, age, or how long they will stay with them. The couple reminds themselves often that fostering is for the child’s benefit and not their own.
“Of course it’s emotional having to prepare to say goodbye, but it’s not about us, it’s about them. We have got to let them go so they can carry on to where they need to be. As foster parents we have to be emotionally resilient to give the children we care for the best chances and outcomes. In the grand scheme of things, we suppose what we’ve done is small – but it’s not really. With our current foster child we’ve given her all the things she needed, and now she’ll flourish.”
Top five lessons from a year as foster parents
Fostering is different for everyone, and of course no 2 families are the same. Alex and Laura shared these key takeaways from their first 12 months.
- Patience is essential 🧘
“You’ll need patience for every part of fostering – not just for the children you’ll care for, but the system, professionals, and the emotional process. Keep breathing!” - Go with the flow 🌊
“Fostering is unpredictable, that’s just how it is. Try letting go of control and accept that decisions aren’t made by you and plans can change.” - Fostering is a constant learning curve 🧠
From the training to the lived-experience, the Pryors have learnt something new every day. They said:
“We’re not naive, but at the same time, we are. We didn’t realise how many children go through things we just couldn’t believe still go on today. When we’ve read through some referrals, we looked at each other in disbelief.”
“We’ve also learnt loads about fostering through the training, as well as about various conditions and learning disabilities. Some things really blew our minds!” - Emotional resilience is essential 💗
“Fostering is emotional and exhausting, but deeply rewarding. We see our role as a stepping stone and know that fostering isn’t about us. That’s not why we started doing this.” - Most people don’t foster for the money 💰
“Fostering is about love, care and impact – not income. The thing that gives me a little chuckle is when people ask, ‘Oh, do you get paid for that?’ and we say, ‘Well yeah, to a certain degree. But this life is not about the money. You’d go and get a regular job earning twice as much if it was.’”
Orange Grove is currently looking for more foster parents to join its team across the south of the UK. Get in touch with our friendly team today if you’d like to ask some questions or start your fostering journey.
