Over 50 years ago, Suso was inspired to become a foster parent by his wife Ruth, who was a nursery nurse for several years but always dreamt of extending their family.
Suso shares his amazing story of fostering – through transforming the life of his foster son Zacc, and being a single male foster parent and positive role model.
Starting the journey
Suso and his wife Ruth began fostering in 1973. Together, they provided long-term homes for children in care while having three children of their own. Ruth was the primary caregiver, while Suso worked full-time, so when he sadly lost her in 2009, he had a decision to make: Would he continue to foster on his own? His answer: “What else am I going to do?” So, he took up the fostering reins alone and has never looked back.
“Since my wife died, fostering has really helped me to keep busy and to focus on other things. Ruth inspired me to become a foster carer and it was always her dream to have a big family, so I’m glad I can fulfil this and make her proud.”
Suso has changed the lives of many children and young people in care, but his relationship with Zacc, who he began fostering in 2004, particularly stands out. They’ve spent the past 25 years building a beautiful connection – from being strangers to becoming father and son, and now best friends.
Navigating life without Ruth
Suso and Ruth began fostering Zacc with Orange Grove when he was just four years old. Zacc’s past experiences made it difficult for him to trust men. He said: “When I went into care, I was petrified of being alone in a room with any male. Including in safe environments like school. I made it very clear I would not have any male teachers, social workers, etc.”
Due to Zacc’s fear of men, he felt more comfortable around Ruth. So, when she died, Suso was concerned about what would happen, he said: “In the beginning, Zacc didn’t relate very well to men, and he connected with Ruth the most. After we lost her, I told him he didn’t have to worry, he was safe with me, and he wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I think I had to prove to him that not all men are bad. He hadn’t had the best male role models in his life before he came to us.”
Rebuilding their lives together
Zacc struggled to trust Suso, but by persistently showing up for Zacc and demonstrating that he could trust him, they managed to build a beautiful relationship.
Zacc said: “When I moved in with Suso and his family, my relationship with Suso was never bad, but it was not perfect. I was scared of him and didn’t see him as a place of comfort at first. This changed when Suso consistently proved time and time again that he was there for me. He would protect me. He loved me.”
Suso let Zacc take the lead, allowing him to open up about his thoughts, feelings and experiences at his own pace. Suso said: “I didn’t force anything onto him. So whenever he asked me a question, I would answer him honestly, and I think that’s what he found helpful. If he had a bad dream, I just had to wait for him to tell me what he dreamt about or what was worrying him. It’s about being gentle.”
Suso’s gentle parenting approach supported Zacc’s healing and helped him learn to trust men again. Zacc said: “He became a role model to me and helped break down barriers and walls I had built around men. Eventually, this enabled me to have good relationships with men. Without Suso as a male role model, I do not think I would have as much confidence around men as I do today.”
Forming an unbreakable bond
Since losing Ruth 15 years ago, Zacc and Suso have formed an unbreakable bond. Zacc said: “After the loss of Ruth – my mum – we found respite in each other. We became pillars of support for each other in our own struggles.”
“We had our moments like any child does with a parent, but it goes to show if you have the right attitude and show signs of understanding each other’s ways, you can go from strangers to father and son to best friends. Now, when someone sees us without the other, they often ask where our shadow is.”
Suso has earned the trust of many children he’s cared for over the years, including Zacc, who now refers to Suso as ‘dad’ and has unofficially adopted the Gesto family name. During our conversation, Suso beamed with pride as he reflected on the memories he’s shared with Zacc over the years:
“We have lots in common, which helps – we love cooking, travelling, architecture – but we’ve shared so many beautiful moments together, he even planned a surprise trip for my 70th birthday. He’s just brilliant.”
Men can be a place of safety
57% of children in care are male, and Zacc believes more men are needed in foster care. He said: “It’s incredibly important to have consistent male role models for children in care to show them that men can, in fact, be a place of safety, inspiration, and encouragement.”
Now aged 75, Suso is still caring for and loving his grown-up children, showing no signs of slowing down, he said: “What else would I be doing? We need more men to be here for the children that need it.”
“I’ve always advocated for children in care, and I always will. They deserve more than just a second chance because they haven’t even had a first.”
Could you foster?
If, like Suso, you want to change a child’s life, we’d love to hear from you. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, with the support from Orange Grove, you can help more young people like Zacc learn to trust again and have renewed hope for the future.
If you’re interested in becoming a foster parent with us, please get in touch.
Want to learn more about fostering?
Fill out your details below and one of our friendly team members will be in touch shortly.
Enquiry
Please make sure you read our terms and conditions because you’re agreeing to them by submitting an enquiry. It’s also worth reading our privacy policy and cookies policy so you understand how we collect and use your personal data. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google privacy policy and Terms of Service apply.
